Day +18 Home Sweet Home

Today didn't start out like I'd hoped. Or actually it kind of did, but by 5:00 am it had changed.

When I get labs drawn, the WBC, PLT and HGB result within half an hour, but the ANC are hand-counted, so take longer. So what I learned is that my WBC, PLT and HGB all went up! I was given blood because outpatient thresholds for transfusions are higher (since you're not going to have labs drawn every day). I also needed magnesium again. But it seemed everything was good to go. And then the ANC results came in. Remember that discharge meant I had to have over 0.50 for two days in a row. I'd been increasing each day and yesterday was 0.55. Today was 0.46.

No one could tell me what that meant, all deferring to Dr. Pasquini, but everyone said that I might have to prepare for another night in the hospital.

Finally at 9:30 Dr. Pasquini came to see me and gave me two possibilities: Stay in the hospital one more day to ensure this was just a blip and that my counts rebound and get discharged tomorrow, or get a neupogen shot (to boost blood cell production), go home, come back tomorrow morning for labs and possible transfusions and infusions, and potential re-admission.

I won't say much about how crushed I was or how hard it was to decide, but in the end, I decided that even if I was only home for a day, my brain needed to get out of the hospital room.

So I got the neupogen (which will cause some bone pain), got some extra meds (since I'm technically neutropenic again I need more protective meds), and busted out of the hospital.

You guys--do you know how much things have changed in the 25 days I was in the hospital? There were just the smallest beginnings of buds on the trees and now everything is green and blooming! It was mind-blowing to see the difference on the drive home.

I cannot thank you all enough for all of your support and encouragement while I was hospitalized. The cards and gifts and artwork and text messages and Facebook comments and Zoom sessions and photos in #ride4lori and purple t-shirts... Although I wasn't able to see anyone close to me that whole time, I didn't feel disconnected because I was physically and emotionally surrounded by all of you. I wish I could explain how much it helped.

I would be naive to think that this is all over, because there's a lot of healing ahead of me, and a lot of scary possibilities still. But this was one huge hurdle and I'm over it.

There is nothing sweeter than fresh air--even through a surgical mask