Day +9

After convincing myself that things wouldn't really get rough until after the final methotrexate, my counts all tanked today and I slept a lot.

My WBC are down to 0.1 and I have no neutrophils. 

My HGB dropped to 6.5 so I got blood this morning.

My platelets dropped to 23K.

Despite taking oral magnesium, I needed IV magnesium today.

And I was just ridiculously sleepy. I didn't rally enough to shower until after noon. I only walked a total of 15 laps today--slowly. No biking. I tried to knit, but kept nodding off. I tried to watch TV, but kept nodding off. I tried to read but kept nodding off.

My mouth is very sore. I have a big white raw patch under my tongue, smaller white patches on both cheeks, and my throat hurts when I swallow. As the day went on, my throat felt a little bit better, but the majority of my nutrition was in soft and/or liquid forms today.

I was also very weepy today. I blame the overcast weather for at least part of it. One of my Team Phoenix sisters, Vanessa, visited me from outside my window this morning and that brought tears. When the PA rounded and asked me, "how are you doing today?" the tears came. And then Dr. Chhabra rounded and asked how I was doing and again the tears. I watched Call The Midwife and sobbed. I saw Class of 2020 parades on Facebook, which made me weepy. I looked through my binder of signs from my parade and my eyes filled. Then I let myself cry in the shower, thinking about how much I miss being home, seeing and being near my husband, and how much easier this would be if I was allowed visitors like I had been during my first stay at St. Luke's. And then my head was clear and the fact that I am safer this way came through. I've been here 15 days already. That's not nothing.

I made it through another day. That's one day closer to being on the other side!