9 of 12

It kind of seems like time is flying by.  The days are already getting shorter, as we've passed summer solstice, and I don't feel like I've had much time to enjoy summer yet.  BUT it also means that the chemo's are moving along.  When I ripped off the chain link today, I left only three links.  Wow!


My labs are about the same.  
Hemoglobin 9.7 gm/dL 
Platelets: 99 thou/mcL 

WBC: 2.9 thou/mcL
Abs. neut: 1.9 thou/mcL

My chemo companion today was my friend (and Mt. Mary co-worker) Laura:



It was great to see her and to catch up on work stuff, and family stuff, as Laura has two adorable little ones (1 YO and 3 YO). She also brought some fabulous Ghirardelli brownies, which hit the spot after a long afternoon of chemo!

This was actually my second visit to the cancer center this week, as I woke up Monday with a subconjunctival hemorrhage (red spot in my eye).  They had to check my blood counts, which were normal (for me, on chemo), so all's fine now, but it was just "one more thing" to deal with--since once you're diagnosed with cancer, you can't assume that anything is a small thing.  

I decided to do a medical appointment count again.  Today's visit brought me up to 57 appointments since this all began.  Mind-boggling.  I cannot imagine what this would be like for someone who did not have health insurance.

Speaking of health insurance, they are still refusing to pay for my genetic testing--only covering BRCA1 and BRCA2 but not the other 15 genes known to be linked to breast cancer.  I don't know what will happen, as I was assured that I'd be informed if my portion of the cost was going to exceed $100, and I was never told that it would.  Meanwhile, I just keep getting EOBs with denial of coverage.

I still have the minor annoyances associated with chemo.  I notice greater exhaustion each week (I'm already in bed, writing this at 7:00).  My eyes and nose are still running.  My fingers and toes hurt from the neuropathy.  My vision is still blurry and I'm sensitive to sunlight.  My nails have started to grow out and you can see what horrible things the AC chemo did to them, as there's a line above which the nail is ridged, curved, and yellowish-blue.  My eyebrows continue to drop and my eyelashes, too.  BUT my fuzz on my head is getting even longer, and I see some stubbly black hairs poking through my eyebrow region, too.

I hated to even mention that I'd noticed the return of the cording, because I thought I could handle it myself with the exercises I had last time.  But it's gotten steadily worse, and my whole right arm and shoulder are hard to move.  So I got a referral, and I return to OT tomorrow morning at 7:00 am.  You know I appreciate what OT can do if I'm willing to wake up early enough to make a 7:00 am appointment!  :)  I've missed Audrey (the OT) and she gives amazing massages.

~~~~~

I've done quite a bit of knitting this last week.  I finished Trav's socks:

And I've made good progress on the Noro sweater--even into the lace pattern at the top.  And look--there's sleeves!  I just love these colors.

And today at chemo I finished one washcloth and started another.  

I need to start another pair of socks and get them past the difficult part so I can knit with company again.

6 of 12

Today was the halfway mark of my second regimen of chemo.  I know that this is the "milder" chemo, but I really don't like it!  I again had less Benadryl, but it was still enough to knock me out.  And I didn't get steroids, which is great--except I won't get the boost tomorrow and Friday, either!  I think I was more up-and-down when I was still taking the steroids.  Now it's just lower-level yuckiness for 6 days--and I feel pretty good Tuesday afternoon until I get chemo on Wednesday! Still, I'm happy to be taking so many fewer meds.  Six more of these.  Done by mid-July.  I can do this!  :)

My labs were good:
Platelets: 106 thou/mcL 
Abs # neut:  2.2 thou/mcL
WBC: 3.3 thou/mcL
Hemoglobin 9.9 gm/dL

My chemo companion was Cara.  She's still recovering from having all four wisdom teeth extracted on Monday, so was able to hang out with me (and watch me sleep!).

I hit a couple milestones cancer-wise this week.  First of all, I hit a point where I'm just sick of being a cancer patient.  I think I told Greg I'd had enough fun (lol) and I was done with it.  Cancer, despite my best attempts, has completely taken over my life.  I guess I knew that it would, and I know it's a limited amount of time, but I'm just so tired of it.  I'm exhausted--each week is noticeably worse.  I'm forgetful.  I have all sorts of little annoyances--the weepy eyes, the running and bleeding nose, horrible peeling cuticles that catch on everything.  And my eyebrows are falling out, which is more upsetting than losing any of the other hair I've lost.  I'm sick of wearing head coverings, but I don't feel comfortable going bald.  And I can't explain just how very tired I am--all the time now. <whine, whine, whine>

The second milestone is that the first friend of mine has been diagnosed with breast cancer after me.  I knew it would happen, given how common it really is, but for some reason, it still surprised me.  I only hope I can be as helpful to her as all my survivor friends have been for me.


~~~~~

I've enjoyed working on the Noro sweater this last week.  Unfortunately, chemo brain won out and it took me three tries to get the (simple) lace done on the bottom of the sweater, but I'm now into the section of just plain stockinette, so I should be good for awhile.  It's such beautiful yarn and changes colors quickly enough that I never get bored with it!

~~~
In addition, I can finally talk about a project I've been part of for several months now.  We've been working on a hope quilt for my childhood-cancer survivor friend Katie.  I haven't quilted in about ten years, and this is the first time I've had a pieced top quilted professionally.  Here's a picture of the finished quilt, with fabric squares contributed by many of Katie's friends:

I wish I had more time (and money) to do more quilting.  I have a box of clothing in my attic for my eventual Mother's quilt, but I don't know when I'll get that done.  Anyway, it was a really fun project.  

~~~

We also got a full-time live-in aide for Mom, and she started this Monday.  So far, I think it's going really well.  Kate is delightful!  She will be splitting time with another aide, who will start this weekend.  What is even nicer is that Kate (and the other aide, I assume) are willing to not only help Mom, but to cook for our family some nights, too.  I've been using way more convenience foods than I like to on the days I work full-time, so this will be such a great help.

~~~

And now I'm off to take a walk with Cara.  I have essentially given up running, as I have lost my energy.  I know it's a vicious cycle where I have no energy, so don't exercise, so I don't have energy, so I don't exercise... :)    I think I'm going to just get through the next 6 weeks of chemo, and then start C25K all over again.  Until then, I'm trying to walk at least a little every day.  

5 of 12

Today put me solidly over the halfway point for chemo (and nearing the halfway for the second round).  My chemo companion was my sister-in-law (and former roommate and dear friend) Katie:

My counts were slightly improved:
Platelets: 92 thou/mcL 
Abs # neut:  2.4 thou/mcL
WBC: 3.6 thou/mcL
Hemoglobin 9.9 gm/dL

Though I gained 2 more pounds in 2 weeks.  Sigh.

I asked a lot of questions (remembered to write them down this time) and got a recommendation for the nosebleeds (saline nasal spray), permission to have an occasional alcoholic beverage (Hello, biergarten, bloody marys & cucumber vodka drinks!), and reassurance that my struggle to find words and multi-task are chemo-related and not brain mets (so I should be challenging my brain to keep it healthy).  I also complained a bit about how I hated feeling so yucky after chemo due to the Benadryl, so Dr. Shah dropped my pre-med Benadryl dose from 25 mg to 10 mg.  She also dropped the steroids from my pre-meds entirely.  I still get the Pepcid (which I found out is another histamine blocker--I'd assumed it was an anti-nausea med), too.

So my request this week is for iPhone apps that you would recommend to keep my brain active.  I've been playing Candy Crush simply for the fact that it's mind-numbing, but Dr. Shah said that, in addition to continuing to work, I should be doing things that really make me work my brain and draw connections.

~~~~~

Some quick fun stuff I did this last week:

Cara has been home for a week now.  It's been so nice to just have her around and she's been so helpful with everything around the house, including:

cooking
Since Cara will be living in an apartment next year, she's learning a lot of cooking, including helping me (my own sous chef) and cooking on her own.  One of the fun things we made was homemade pierogi.  


gardening
I've always been afraid to plant before Memorial Day weekend, so Saturday we planted a lot of things: tomatoes, a tomatillo, peppers, herbs, sugar snap peas, radishes, beets, and horseradish!

~~~~~
knitting
I finished Hitchhiker--which ended up with only 40 notches, so I'm not sure it can still be called "Hitchhiker"

I also finally decided what to make with my beautiful Noro gift.  I'm making a knit tee.  It's knit entirely in the round (bottom up) so I think the Noro will blend and stripe nicely.

~~~~~
Finally, we had a great time on Sunday with our friends Joe and Kristi.  We went out for Mexican food at La Fuente and then saw The Book of Mormon.  The whole night was so much fun, but the musical was even better than I expected!  I highly recommend it--even though I can't stop singing the completely inappropriate songs from it.