But even yesterday morning, I was having doubts about Greg leaving. There are so many little things that I can't do for myself--like picking up the laptop computer or reaching a bottle of Gatorade on the top shelf of the fridge or opening the bottle of antibiotics. And there's the more important thing that Greg's been with me essentially 24 hours a day for the last two weeks. I've kinda gotten really used to having him around. :)
By last night, I was feeling quite a bit better emotionally, and physically the only real complaints are the DAMN DRAINS and ITCHY STITCHES. Friends from all over have offered to drive kids places, to bring food, and to visit and keep me company. Furthermore, I think I need to experience a bit of life alone so I can re-build my confidence. And so I sent Greg off this morning for the long drive Up North.
As much as I've tried for it NOT to be, this last week has been essentially all cancer, all the time. My readings, my daily tasks, my emails and phone calls and everything has had something to do with my diagnosis and treatment. And I had gotten to a place where I felt like I would always view everything through the cancer goggles. But today so many "normal" things occurred and it felt so good to think of the future.
1. Cara emailed me overnight to tell me that her abstract was accepted for a presentation at the National Conference on Undergraduate Research in Washington State this April. You always want your kids to do better than you, and Cara has already done so. I've presented at conferences, but only posters. This is an oral presentation!!! I am so very proud and so very excited for her.
2. The professor who is taking over PH101 at Zilber this semester emailed me with some questions about the course (which I've taught the last three semesters). It feels good to think about what I've set up, and to hope that I will teach (this class or another) in the future. It was so fun to talk with him about things that I tried for the first time last semester and which ones worked better (and which ones worse) than I'd hoped.
3. My major professor emailed me the proof for our second publication this morning. It needs to be edited by next week, and I am SO ready to focus my attention on this. The research in this publication began before either of us were at UWM, and it has been a part of my graduate work since almost my first day in the lab. Reading the summary of all that time, and seeing it in the official version reminds me of what I've accomplished in the past, and that I will have another line to add to my CV which will help me accomplish things in the future.
~~~
I also got out for two walks today--one with Steve and one with both Travis and Mira. And my dear friend Everett visited and brought me Schwarma, which actually tasted pretty good (I'm still chasing that elusive appetite). In the past week, not a day goes by that I don't get cards, notes, texts, messages, emails from so many people in every part of my life. And today I got the most beautiful flowers--orchids--from my friend Alison. There is so much good surrounding me that I almost didn't miss Greg. Almost...
So glad to hear that you're getting outside. The fresh air really helps. I, too, was so terribly annoyed by the drains and itching. While I can't remember how many days it was after my surgery when the drains were removed, I do know that they weren't removed the first time. I got so frustrated with them and I really wanted to go back to work. Eventually I convinced my doctor to remove them. Bad idea! I then had fluid build up which became very uncomfortable. The drains are serving a very useful purpose. Keep being annoyed because they are annoying, but celebrate the healing that they promote!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Judy.
ReplyDeletePatience has never been one of my virtues, but I'm beginning to appreciate that I will need to learn it. :)