Silver linings

One of the unexpected benefits of my cancer diagnosis and the forced break between jobs is that I have had several weeks where I've not had to be anywhere or do anything more demanding than grabbing coffee with a friend.  After 5 1/2 years of more-than-fulltime Grad School and work, it's a very, very strange experience.  Having Cara home for 2 1/2 weeks was lovely.  She's my #1 cooking and shopping partner and we did lots of both.  Besides that, she's made such a smooth transition from kid child to adult child that she's truly one of my favorite people to be around.  Travis and Mira were home a little less frequently, but they both were excellent sports about running errands with me, playing silly family games, watching bad movies, and doing a lot of talking and laughing.  And watching my "big" kids get along so well brings me immense joy.

However, the most unexpected and wonderful silver lining in this cloud has been the time I've spent exclusively with Greg.  Initially, he was the only one who knew about the lump and all the tests, and therefore he was the one to hear all my worrying and panicking and crazy talk.  But we both were winding down our Fall semesters, and therefore had more free time (or at least not-at-school time), which we spent together.  We started to "date" again, like we did in college--grocery shopping together, playing card games on the floor, watching bad TV in bed, and endless talking and hand-holding.  I didn't realize how much I'd been missing until I had it back.  I first met Greg over 27 years ago, started dating him 26 years ago, married him 21 years ago, and have never loved him more.  My courage in this fight is because of him.

~~~

Thank you to so many of you who messaged, texted, emailed or called me to see how I was doing today, and to remind me to do something fun or relaxing or "for me".   Greg was out of town for the day, and after the visit to the plastic surgeon yesterday, my surgery tomorrow became much more real.  Luckily, the bound copies of my dissertation were ready, so I went to campus to pick them up, visiting with a lot of people along the way, and having coffee with my (former) major professor.  Then I headed down to Zilber to deliver a copy, and saw a lot of friends there, too.  Finally, I decided to brave the cold and visit the mall to use up some of my gift cards and birthday coupons.  The old, bargain shopper Lori was thrilled to score two shirts, a pair of pants, a scarf, and a book (humor, of course--Demetri Martin!) for $13 out of my pocket.  Best of all, it was relaxing and nice to be out in the sun, despite below-zero temps.

Tonight we brought birthday cake to Mom in the nursing home and celebrated her birthday (tomorrow) and Mira's birthday (yesterday). 

And now I'm freshly showered with Hibiclens (ick!) and about to climb into freshly bleached sheets to watch some Buffy the Vampire Slayer with my husband.  All-in-all a very good day.